If you follow me on FB or Twitter or have read enough of my blog, you already know who Ronan is. He’s the original Beelzepup. He inspired the canine character Devlin from THE BOOK OF LOST SOULS, where he’s teen witch Ivy MacTavish’s way too cute side kick. Devlin is a mischievous dog. Devlin is mad for a squeaky toy, chases the neighbor’s cat, hiccups fire when fed sugar, and is a magnet for trouble. In other words, he’s a lot like Ronan. Well, except for fiery hiccups.
Before Ronan’s debut as Devlin, he was journaling his life on an old forum I belonged to. I wrote short, random journal entries from Ronan’s viewpoint from the first day I picked him up in Vancouver to his first year. Back then, they were just The Ronan Diaries, but soon became The Beelzepup Diaries. The women on the forum loved Ronan’s humorous stories. So much, in fact, that they printed them out and either gave the stories to their children or read the entries to them. One child loved Ronan so much that he named a stuffed toy after him. Today, when I announced Ronan’s 8th birthday, the boy’s mom reminded me of the stories and how they stuck with her and her son.
I think it’s only fitting than on Ronan’s birthday that I post a few of those early entries. Here, Ronan contemplates human behavior, metal birds, and a place called Salt Lick City. Stay tuned later this week when I post a Beelzepup excerpt from THE BOOK OF LOST SOULS.
Ronan‘s diary, day 2
New Mom and I took a car ride to a place with large metal birds and boxes with tags on them. Mom called these things suitcases.
Two new people looked at me for a few minutes in my carrier, and then took Mom’s suitcase. I gave my breeder, Katja, a kiss when she told me to have a good new life, and she put me back into the carrier. I didn’t know what was wrong with my old life with my first mom and my brothers and sisters, but I was ready for the Big Adventure as New Mom put it. I already loved my New Mom very much and I knew she’d take care of me.
Mom and I were going to my new home! She said it was a nice house and that I’d have my own bed, my own yard, bowls, toys, and all sorts of good stuff! But first, we had to get there. Big Adventure, here I come!
I stayed in the little carrier kennel for a very long time. I didn’t like it much. After awhile though, I got to check out a strange room with large white water bowls with weird doors in front of them. I don’t know what good the doors did as I could walk under them without a problem. People would go to these bowls and close the door. I guess humans don’t like other humans watching them drink water. After they were done, the door would open and the bowls would refill with a huge flushing sound.
When it was time for the Adventure, Mom took me into the mouth of one of the metal birds and placed me at her feet. It was real scary. Mom said it was a small bird, one that could only hold ten people. I guess this bird was young because it slid on the icy runway. I don’t know why it’s called a runway. I think it might have something to do with the metal bird having to run before it could fly. Seems like humans would find a metal bird that could just fly, like robins or sparrows do. I stayed still we got to wherever we were going. The bird shook and shuddered and was real loud. Good thing Mom was there! So far, I didn’t like this Adventure thing much.
When the bird landed, Mom and I went for another ride in a long and very tall car. There were other people on it carrying those bags with tags.
At long last, Mom took me out of the carrier when we got to our hotel room. I peed on the puppy pee pads she put in the bathroom, and then ran around for awhile. Mom fed me and then she ate, too.
Mom said we had a real busy day coming up and that I should sleep as much as I could. Tomorrow, I’d get to see my new home. Mom told me that I’d have a big sister – a sweet girl named Tasha to watch over me and play with. Mom sure seemed to love her – I could tell it in her voice. And from that, I knew Mom loved me, too. I can’t wait to see my big sister!
Tired, and with a full belly, I stretched out in my kennel. I wondered what my new home would be like and looked forward to a sister that would love me and play with me. Soon, I fell asleep. Adventures sure do wear a little guy out.
Ronan‘s Diary, 3
I was tired of being inside my kennel. I barked loudly and whined for Mom, but she ignored me. I knew she heard my cries because she’d placed the kennel next to her bed before she went to sleep.
My cries went unnoticed, so I had to resort to extreme puppy measures: howling shrilly at the top of my lungs and flailing around until I tipped the kennel over. Why are humans so hard to train?
That did the trick! Oh happiness! Mom finally freed from the awful kennel!
Problem was, Mom didn’t seem happy. She mentioned something about it being 1:30am. What’s a 1:30? I think she wasn’t awake and thinking of a police procedural show she watched on the thing she called a tell-e-vision. I fell asleep before it was over so I didn’t know what code 1:30 was.
All I knew was that I needed to pee. Mom placed me on one of the pee-pads, but. I wanted to go outside. She said she couldn’t do that – we were on the 11th floor. I didn’t get it, but eventually I peed sometime after the code Mom said was 2am. Guess I should have stayed awake until the tell-e-vision explained what these codes meant.
Mom put me back in the dreaded kennel. I don’t understand! I peed on those pads like she asked, but I must have done something wrong or she wouldn’t have put me back in my kennel. This called for drastic measures! I kept up the shrill howling and managed to flip the kennel over. Mom relented and let me sleep in the bed next to her. I was so happy about this that I showed my appreciation by chewing on her fingers. Mom kept mentioning that our adventure home would start at code 3:30. We’d have to get out of bed then and be ready for the shuttle bus, which we needed to catch at code 4am.
Goody! We get to go hunting! I love hunting and chasing things! I’ve never hunted a shuttle bus before. I wonder how hard they are to catch? Are they bigger than squirrels?
I was SO excited that I successfully kept Mom up until hunting time. She gathered the bag with a tag, aka suitcase, and put me in my kennel. I had no idea how I was supposed to hunt from inside my kennel, but I kept quiet. Humans are so weird at times.
At code 4:10am, Mom got on another long-tall car and we were on our way. I was rather disappointed to learn that the long-tall car was the shuttle bus. Shuttle buses are MUCH bigger than squirrels, by the way. Turns out, you don’t hunt them–you ride inside them. Boring! So I took a nap.
When I awoke, we were at the place where the large, metal birds were. No baby metal birds here! While we stood in line to do what Mom said was a check-in, I had to pee. After I squirmed and flailed for a bit, Mom left the line (it didn’t look fun anyway) and took me to the place where the large white water bowls are. Okay, you won’t believe this, but people pee in these drinking bowls! I’m starting to think that the Adventure will be trying to figure out humans.
Mom and I went into one of the small rooms with a bowl and a short door. She put a pee pad on the floor and let me out of the kennel, but by then I had already peed in the kennel. Maybe she’d throw the kennel away like she did the pee pads! Yay! No more kennel!
Yeah. No such luck. Mom cleaned me up and the carrier, then put me inside it once more. We left the room where people peed in the drinking bowls and went to stand back in line again. By this time, there were a LOT more people to stand with Mom. It was like one ginormous pack! I bet Mom was happy about that. I’m so glad I could help.
From there, we went through some sort of ritual humans call customs. Mom had to remove her coat and shoes, place everything except me inside bins, and walk through a beeper thing with me outstretched in her arms. I guess people do it to make the metal birds happy – kinda like I do so I can get a treat. Huh. My aunts and uncles back at the breeders said doing things for treats was called a trick or obedience. But for humans, I guess it’s called customs. Why do humans have so many different words for things?
After the customs thing, we sat and waited to get inside the metal bird. Mom called them plains. I didn’t see anything plain about them. Some were larger than others with big splashy colors.
Once we got on the plain, I had to be quiet again. Mom let me peek out of the carrier once we in the air. I don’t know what she meant by that as I thought we were still inside the plain. I have no idea how I’m going to learn how to do things when humans are so confusing.
As I thought about this, Mom mumbled something about the plain leaving late and that her luck was holding. Mom didn’t seem to like having her luck held. I wonder if that was some code for having to pee.
My little puppy head hurt.
While the big metal bird or plain or whatever it was flew to our next stop in The Adventure, I napped off and on. Finally, the plain landed at what humans call an air port. I don’t know why humans call them air ports when they’re on the ground. I swear, I can’t make heads or tails of humans! Anyway, we were now in a place called Salt Lick City, although I didn’t see any salt licks, either. I feel another puppy headache coming on. I think I’ll just take another nap.
The End (for now)